N.T. Wright said the following in an interview here. I have posted my own little application after the quote.
In Miroslav Volf’s excellent book Exclusion and Embrace, his basic argument is this: Whether we are dealing with international relations or one-on-one personal relations, evil must be named and confronted. There must be no sliding around it, no attempt—whether for the sake of an easy life or in search of a quick fix—to present it as if it wasn’t so bad after all. Only when that has been done, when both the evil and the evil doer have been identified as what and who they are—this is what Volf means by “exclusion”—can there be the second move towards the “embrace” of the one who has deeply hurt and wounded us or me.
If I have named the evil, and done my best to offer genuine forgiveness and reconciliation, then I am free to love the person even if they don’t want to respond.
When I read this I thought about an application to child rearing. You have to be able to "name" your child's sin. You cannot effectively train them to be a holy person, a good Christian, if you are constantly glossing over their sin and calling it something else. True, kids sin more when they are tired, hungry, or dirty and we should help them by keeping them well rested, fed, and clean. But, when they sin we need to see it as sin and teach them to see it that way too. Only then can they learn to confess it and fight against it with God's help. We cripple our kids if we constantly make excuses for their sin. We need to help them fight it and gain the victory! Then they will "...give you peace; he will bring delight to your soul" Prov 29:17.
*As a side note, another book by the above mentioned author looks good. It is called Free of Charge: Giving and Forgiving in a Culture Stripped of Grace.